I have wrestled with depression for the entirety of my life. My journey has included numerous treatments, from three courses of ECT to TMS and countless antidepressants. Unfortunately, none have provided me with substantial or enduring relief.
Discovering what I truly need has been a gradual journey marked by small steps. However, I am finally beginning to understand the strategies that assist me in managing my depression, offering me some respite during the daily and often hourly challenges I face.
Exercise
If you’re dealing with depression, the thought of exercising can feel overwhelming. Yet, I am living proof that physical activity, regardless of your mood, can be beneficial. A solid workout can truly reinvigorate you and help reset your mindset.
I engage in intense workouts every day that my 72-year-old body can handle, barring any recovery from injuries. In my younger years, I used to work out twice daily: once in the morning and again in the afternoon to recharge. I hop on the bike or the elliptical for 50 minutes, irrespective of how I’m feeling. To be candid, I dread it. Before I start, my heart, soul, and mind are filled with doubt about its potential benefits, a testament to how entrenched my depression feels.
Every morning, I tell myself, “Treat this as an experiment. Just try it and see if you feel any better afterward.” And so I begin. Initially, the first 15 seconds seem to drag on for an eternity, and I find myself thinking, “I can’t sustain this for 50 minutes.” I then focus solely on the present moment, refusing to worry about what lies ahead, concentrating only on the current minute. I count down each minute until I reach my goal. And with each passing moment, I eventually make it to the end.
It works. Every single time, I feel uplifted. I’ve achieved something tangible and reached a personal goal, which is always fulfilling. Additionally, the rush of endorphins contributes to that boost as well.
During my toughest times, prior to turning 60, the energy and mental lift I gained may have lasted just 15 minutes or a few hours. However, I figured that any uplift was better than none. Now, over a decade into this ongoing transformation, my workout energizes me for the entire day. If I find myself in a draining situation, I recall that morning’s workout, which provides me with a sense of accomplishment and an extra dose of endorphins.
Traveling
Sometimes, a fresh environment can provide a new perspective on your life at home. It can help you see your loved ones, your daily routine, and yourself through a different lens. Experiencing new places and meeting new people can shift your perspective on your partner, family, and friends—and, more importantly, on yourself. You may unearth insights about who you truly are, what you require, and what you desire.
When I was compelled to leave my community college teaching position due to safety concerns, I felt the loss of the structure and focus it had given me. I knew I needed an alternative lifeline to avoid slipping back into darkness.
What I found was following Bruce Springsteen’s tour in Australia. Why? Because over the past year, his energy, humanity, and passion had profoundly inspired me. He made me feel alive and hopeful. I hoped that by embracing the energy of Springsteen, I could stave off the feelings of despair.
I dislike traveling and being alone. I hadn’t known springsteen was a cultural icon a year prior. My decision to embark on this trip was not about changing myself, but rather about regaining structure and focus; my sole task was to make it to each concert in each city. To my surprise, I returned transformed.
For the first time, I was filled with a positive energy and a narrative I was proud to share, a journey that felt meaningful. The warmth of strangers in Australia made a significant impact. Back home, people dismissed my adventure as fruitless, failing to understand that I was fighting my way back to life. In Australia, many regarded me as brave, with locals noting how difficult it was to motivate some of their own family members to engage in social activities post-retirement.
With every compliment, even amidst my skepticism, I attempted to align myself with their perspective. Bruce Springsteen and the connections I forged in Australia allowed me to see myself and my place in the world in a more optimistic light.
The Power of Music
Music possesses an incredible capacity. It can transport you to different emotional states, filling and uplifting you. It has the ability to touch your heart and soul, allowing you to experience emotions in ways you might never have felt before.
To me, Bruce Springsteen on stage creates an enchanting atmosphere. He captivates each moment, connecting listeners to one another and to him, amidst the crowd of fellow fans. You’re dancing, clapping, and smiling—entirely present in the experience—without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. In those moments, you feel a sense of belonging and fulfillment.
Years later, listening to Springsteen’s music allows me to revisit those exhilarating feelings.
The Art of Writing
Writing about your thoughts and experiences can foster a connection with others and enhance your relationship with yourself.
Upon my return from my journey, I realized I had a story worth sharing: one about beginning to heal, progressing, nurturing dreams, and experiencing joy. It’s about persistence, hope, and keeping an open heart. I yearn to partake in conversations that emphasize resilience and the belief that it’s never too late to change. By sharing our narratives, we can offer hope, inspiration, and even joy to one another.
Embracing Perseverance
“All you have to do is try. If you attempt and falter, that’s acceptable. Because trying is all anyone can really do.” That’s a mantra I embraced, and I highly suggest it. Repeat this to yourself: acknowledge your best efforts. That’s sufficient, and it safeguards your self-respect. Just keep pushing forward, and acknowledge your progress.
Embracing incremental progress is essential. Any step forward, however small, is a victory. One day, one step at a time. On my most challenging days, I would still make my way to the exercise bike. Even when I felt apprehensive about flying to Australia, I committed to it. As long as I attempted, regardless of the outcomes, I found solace in the knowledge that I had given my all. I welcomed perseverance, hope, and the willingness to engage with my present circumstances and the people around me.
One night, Springsteen moved across the stage, asking, “How do you get through the day? How do you stay alive inside?” Watching him, I thought, “If he can voice these feelings to thousands of fans, I can’t be alone in facing this struggle. It’s okay to battle; it’s okay to keep trying.” Hearing this truth from him validated my journey and filled me with hope.
Finally mastering the management of my lifelong struggle with depression feels like a significant achievement—a testament to those small, consistent steps. And I can credit much of this progress to an enduring rock star.
Author Bio
Anne Abel is an accomplished author, storyteller, and influencer. Her memoir, Mattie, Milo, and Me (2024), was inspired by her victory at a Moth StorySLAM event in New York City. She has an MFA from the New School for Social Research, an MBA from the University of Chicago, and a BS in chemical engineering from Tufts University. She has contributed to numerous publications and her experiences were highlighted in Newsweek’s article titled, “Boomer’s Story About How She Met Her Husband of 45 Years Captivates Internet.” Her latest book, inspired by her Moth StorySLAM win in Chicago, is High Hopes: A Memoir. She resides in New York City with her husband, Andy, and their cavapoo puppy, Wendell. Connect with her at anneabelauthor.com, as well as on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @annesimaabel.