Yoga has served multiple roles throughout my life – from a form of exercise to a source of discipline, a sanctuary, and a teacher. It gave me a secure environment to connect with my body and find a degree of tranquility in the art of simply being. I would enter a yoga session overwhelmed by a torrent of thoughts and worries, but by its conclusion, I found a sense of calm. The idea of allowing myself to relax was revolutionary.
Above all, yoga has been my source of healing. It facilitated the recovery of not just my spine but also addressed the unseen traumas that had an impact on my body, mind, and spirit. As I continued to practice, yoga evolved from a mere physical regime into a profound means of emotional and spiritual growth.
Here are some insights I’ve gained from my journey, which might assist you in discovering healing through your own practice.
Understanding Trauma in the Body
Throughout my childhood, I carried trauma that indelibly marked both my mind and body. In my teenage years, scoliosis distorted my spine, while the unexpressed stresses of family dynamics left me feeling anxious and laden with responsibility.
Initially, I viewed yoga merely as a physical activity – a method to alleviate discomfort. Yet beneath that surface, I yearned for something greater: a path to reconcile with a body I perceived as flawed and a life that felt overwhelming.
Lesson 1: Tune into your body.
Pain and tension aren’t random occurrences; they are signals from the body. Start by identifying areas where you feel contracted or out of balance, and ask yourself: What message is my body conveying?
Taking Initial Steps
Yoga offered me significant relief. A simple hamstring stretch alleviated tension in my lower back, and gentle backbends created space in tight areas. I approached it as a physical therapy regimen, and it was effective.
However, I soon discerned something deeper. With every session, my breathing slowed, my nervous system began to relax, and the urge to control everything diminished. Yoga was imparting lessons beyond mere anatomy; it was teaching me the art of surrender.
Lesson 2: Begin with the body, but pay attention to your breath.
Even if you start yoga as a physical endeavor, let your breath serve as your grounding point. Healing commences with the connection of body and breath.
Beyond the Physical Realm
As my yoga practice deepened, I began to recognize its reflection of my life. On the mat, I often pushed myself too hard in pursuit of perfection. Off the mat, this tendency continued – I strove to please others while neglecting my own needs.
Yoga encouraged me to soften my rigidity and to fortify areas where I felt weak. This mirrored not only my physical condition with scoliosis but also resonated with my emotional experiences. The goal was not to achieve perfection, but to embrace myself as I was.
Lesson 3: Use the mat as a reflection.
Pay attention to your behavioral patterns during practice. Do you push yourself excessively? Do you collapse without assistance? The mat offers a secure space to explore new ways of being.
Cultivating Stability and Ease
As I entered the realm of teaching, it became clear that it was not only about aiding others but also about reinforcing my own learning. Each time I guided a student to discover stability and ease, I reminded myself of the same essential truth.
In my role as a physical therapist, I recognized that back pain could never be solely attributed to muscles and bones; it mirrored how we carry ourselves in the world – either too rigid or too yielding. Yoga provided a pathway to rebalance.
Lesson 4: Share what you need to learn.
Even in informal settings, discussing your healing experiences can reinforce the lessons you need to embody.
The Power of Silence, Space, and Transformation
My most profound transformation occurred in the desert. Alone, enveloped in silence and surrounded by vast skies, I released the constraints of structure and sequence. I moved freely as my body desired – sometimes fluidly, sometimes in stillness, or simply resting on the ground and breathing.
In that expansive environment, I realized that yoga transcended mere poses. It became about freedom, presence, and wholeness, scars and all – even with a crooked spine.
I would initiate my practice in Tadasana (mountain pose), feeling the weight of my feet against the ground. The earth beneath me and the vast desert in front became sources of strength, helping me shift from my overthinking mind to my body, anchoring me in the present.
Lesson 5: Allow for unstructured practice.
Occasionally, release the need for structure. Move in a way that feels natural to your body. This is when yoga transforms from a healing practice into a liberating experience.
Embracing a Full Life Through Healing
Today, yoga continues to be my foundation. My guiding mantra is simple: Please reveal my dharma (purpose) and grant me the strength to fulfill it.
Stability and ease. Strength and gentleness. Stability and liberation – these qualities transcend mere postures and permeate life itself. Healing isn’t about erasing the past or perfecting the body; it is about living authentically and trusting the insights that arise when we harmonize discipline with grace. It is a journey from trauma to resilience, rigidity to fluidity, and brokenness to wholeness, which I strive to embody every day, both on and off the mat.
About the Author
Rachel Krentzman, PT, C-IAYT, MBA, is a yoga practitioner, physical therapist, and certified Hakomi psychotherapist. Raised in Montreal within an Orthodox Jewish family, she confronted the trauma following her rabbi father’s arrest, eventually reshaping her identity. She focuses on personal healing through somatic, body-centered psychotherapy and yoga therapy. Having experienced scoliosis and damaged discs herself, she has developed an influential therapeutic approach that benefits countless students and patients worldwide.
Residing in Israel with her husband, son, and two dogs, she has authored several books on yoga, including Scoliosis, Yoga Therapy and the Art of Letting Go (2016). Her latest release is As Is: A Memoir on Healing the Past Through Yoga. Discover more at happybackyoga.com.